It’s true that I hate the thought of losing mom, but it’s unlike her to give up like this! tougher! What can I do to make her see that she needs to keep fighting? – BV Read more →

No one needs to die in pain. That is what the social worker told me as I signed the papers that would put my father on hospice care. That is the mantra of hospice, and it became my mantra as well. I had no choice but to believe it since my dad had suffered so much. Read more →

Now you are thrust into the valley of despair, an unknown yet fertile place of psychic deconstruction. It is here where your shadow lives, Read more →

His head drifted to my shoulder and that last, gentle breath slipped by unnoticed by me. What I felt was the positive force of Dad’s spirit leaving his body. And then — joy! Did I just write joy? Yes, I did. Read more →

Life changing, yes! And perhaps a moment of divine intervention. An elderly man with COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease) was rushed to the cardiac cath lab after being diagnosed with Read more →

We both wonder what else can be done to assure her that she won’t receive a feeding tube in particular or other extreme measures. She can’t relax until she knows that she’s done everything to make sure that this doesn’t happen. – YT Read more →

Many people have heard of hospice care but they mistakenly think that it’s just a way to help cancer patients be more comfortable at the end of their lives. Fewer people have heard of palliative care, Read more →

...The crux of these conversations is that medicine will do everything possible and then when you give up you will go on hospice care. That is a mistake. Hospice is not about giving up. Read more →

Dear Carol: My mother, who has advanced dementia, went into a nursing home six months ago. She’s received excellent care but is now declining quickly so that she no longer swallows any type of food. Her doctor has determined that she is ready for hospice and that makes sense to me. Hospice took her off of medications that didn’t seem to be helping and then prescribed some occasional Ativan for agitation and low-dose morphine for pain. Her response has been satisfying to watch since she’s more alert and far more peaceful than she has been. Here’s the problem. I’ve gone to a support group for several years and there are a couple of people in the group that completely anti-drug for Alzheimer’s so they are adamantly against the use of both Ativan and morphine for my mom. I don’t get it. Mom is dying. She was jerking around in pain and crying and now she’s responsive and comfortable. How do I get through to them that when people are dying everything changes? – HY Read more →

Dear Carol: Six months ago, my husband, 83, broke his hip and was admitted to the hospital. His time there was emotionally exhausting and the stay took a terrible toll on him. Eventually, he was released to a local nursing home and things were going well until he developed pneumonia. The nursing home was well equipped to care for him there which is what we both wanted, but I alerted his adult children, as we’ve agreed to do in a health crisis. Even though my step-kids rarely visit, they have rights since we share Power of Attorney which is set up so that any one of us can make decisions. At first, I thought that their coming would be a comfort but they took over and effectively negated their father’s health care documents - FC Read more →