How to console their older adult who is facing incontinence; how to convince their elder that wearing protection is far better than smelling of urine; or how to pay for the products once they are in use. Read more →

Many dementia caregivers feel as though they are treading water just to avoid sinking under the often exhausting pressures associated with dementia care. Read more →

Dear Candid Caregiver:...I’ve checked around, and while some local ALFs will let people bring their cats, none locally will allow them to keep a dog because dogs need to be let outside, among other excuses. I’d take Tippy Read more →

Dear Candid Caregiver: My dad enjoys going to the park and watching kids play. Since I try hard to give him the best life he can have considering that he has Alzheimer’s disease, I find this a positive experience. The problem is that there are times when Dad is glaringly inappropriate and I don’t know how to handle these moments. As an example, last week, he saw a child in the park dipping his toes in a pond. Dad began lecturing the child about not “falling in.” Of course, the child was confused and the mother seemed upset. I explained dad’s situation to the mom and she was kind, but I was embarrassed.  Read more →

Some situations, of course, leave no room for laughter. But some tough times can offer moments of levity if we choose to recognize them. My sister, Beth, and I experienced what to some people may be a rather macabre situation during the three days our mother was going through the death process. If we hadn't maintained our senses of humor, I'm not sure how we would have handled those sad, seemingly endless days. Read more →

t's been nearly a decade since I began sharing my personal caregiving stories with the public, first via the book "Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories" and later through a newspaper column, on my own blog and then contributing to major websites such as HealthCentral.com. When I first started sharing my stories and looking for others who had similar tales to tell, people tended to be reticent about speaking up. Now, sharing caregiver "in the trenches" stories has become a major part of caregiver self-care and even survival. Read more →

Dear Candid Caregiver: My husband and I have been married for 25 years and have raised two children. Just as we were thinking that we’d be able to travel because the kids are old enough to be on their own, my in-laws started having one health problem after another. I know that this isn’t my husband’s fault, and I also understand that if it were my parents I’d be scrambling with trying to help them out. However, I do think that my husband should pressure his siblings to do more. Yes, his siblings live out of town and we live in the same community, but his siblings... Read more →

Dear Candid Caregiver: My husband and I have been married 2 for5 years and have raised two children. Just as we were thinking that we’d be able to travel because the kids are old enough to be on their own, my in-laws started having one health problem after another. I know that this isn’t my husband’s fault, and I also understand that if it were my parents I’d be scrambling with trying to help them out. However, I do think that my husband should pressure his siblings to do more... Read more →

People living with dementia are the only ones who really understand what it’s like to live with their form of the disease, whether it’s Alzheimer’s or another type such as frontotemporal (FTD) or Lewy body (LBD). Sadly, the ability to communicate becomes compromised by dementia. That being said, care partners can, if we take time to search out the meaning behind their words or actions, continue to improve the care provided. Here are some tips that can help you.  Read more →

Unfair as it may seem, even in families of many adult children, one sibling usually becomes the primary caregiver for their aging parents. In many families, such as mine, this person is the one who lives the closest to the parents and/or is most suited for the task of caregiving. In my case, it was both. This fact didn’t keep my sister, who lived about 50 miles away, from coming to town nearly every weekend to visit with our parents and help out. However, in some families, this relatively short distance would be enough of an excuse for some siblings to justifying helping minimally and infrequently. Read more →