Often, we don’t even notice that we’ve slipped into a routine of combined stress and numbness until a friend or family member takes a moment to ask what is new in our lives. If our first thought is that nothing much has changed since we are just caregivers doing what we do, then it’s time to take a look at how we can refresh our attitude toward our lives, and in the process, perhaps refresh the life of the person for whom we are responsible. Read more →
In-home care
Loneliness can be a plague for the elderly and ill. Yet visiting with someone who doesn’t feel well, and may have limited cognition, can be tricky. Some nervousness or reluctance is natural, but a few considerations can help to make things go smoothly. Read more →
These statistics should make it glaringly obvious that family caregivers are indispensable to our nation as well as to the rest of the world. Without this so-called free care, global health systems would be in far worse trouble than they currently are. I am one of that army of caregivers. Over the span of two decades, I have provided primary care for a total of seven elders, four of whom had dementia of different types. Therefore, I know intimately the toll that years of caregiving for someone with dementia can take. Below, three other family caregivers give us... Read more →
Dear Carol: My dad, 84, can shower, dress, and eat. He’s continent and takes no medications, he can read, his hearing is OK, he’s non-combative. What he can’t do is stay safe. My presence is needed 24/7 because he is living in an altered state of reality. I read about caregiver burnout, but these people seem to do so much more than I do that I feel guilty complaining. Even so, I know that I need help. When I sleep, my back burner is always on waiting for him to wake me because of an imaginary intruder or because he forgot something. I'm always worried that he could be wandering through the house and I wouldn’t know it. Should I hire someone to be in the house overnight so my sleep can be solid?? Am I being too much of a pansy? I feel the comfort of knowing someone else is available while I sleep may help me endure this marathon. – HB Read more →
Choosing an individual or a company to come into our home, or that of a vulnerable loved one, to provide assistance with anything from cleaning to personal services is never easy. We are giving an unknown person access to not only our property but to the safety of our loved one who may need care while we are not able to supervise. Choosing the right person or company should be done methodically, and education can help you ask the right questions. Read more →
According to the National Institutes of Health (NIH), falls are the leading cause of death from injury among older adults. Thom Disch has a passion for this topic and has been compiling statistics and stories related to this healthcare crisis for over a decade. Thom owns HandiProducts, a web-based business that showcases the dozens of products that he has developed specifically for preventing slips and falls. He also wrote “Stop the Slip,” which is packed with practical tips. Read more →
Dear Candid Caregiver: My parents were always open about their long-term plans for retirement, saying that they’ve worked hard and retirement was going to be the payoff. Travel was huge on the horizon. Now, my dad has been diagnosed with mixed dementia, which, in his case, means Alzheimer’s and possibly Lewy body dementia, so their dreams are pretty much canceled...Dear Sad but Tense: I’m so sorry about what’s happened, not only to your dad but to your whole family. Generally, when I hear about ruined retirement plans, the letter comes from a spouse, so you provide an observant perspective that we can all learn from. I’m certain that your mom doesn’t have any idea that her grief, her anger, and her stress over what happened is showing... Read more →
After decades of caregiving, I’ve experienced some negative effects. However, I've also experienced positive effects that continue to give me pleasure and enhance my life. I saved the positive aspects of caregiving for the second article because, having recently written about the ill effects on our health caused by negative thinking, it seemed more authentic to me as a writer. Also, as a person, when possible I like to concentrate on the positive. Below are a few of the many things that I feel I have gained, and still am gaining, from long-term caregiving. Read more →
Choosing an individual or a company to come into our home, or that of a vulnerable loved one, to provide assistance with anything from cleaning to personal services is never easy. We are giving an unknown person access to not only our property but to the safety of our loved one who may need care while we are not able to supervise. Choosing the right person or company should be done methodically, and education can help you ask the right questions. Read more →
As you watch your parents or other beloved elders age, sometimes worry becomes inevitable. Should they have housing upgrades? Can they continue to live independently? Your intention isn’t to take over their lives, but you may genuinely want to start the conversation about possible future changes. How do you do this without causing a backlash? Read more →