Entries categorized "Minding Our Elders Column" Feed

Dear PW: What a sad situation. My heart goes out to your whole family because of your dad’s condition, but particularly to you and your dad. I don’t know your family history but from your description, there seems to be... Read more →


“I’m worried about her safety and have been telling her for several years that she needs help,” she continues. “I’m not proud to say that I’ve stooped to yelling at her, but I have done it. I hate the thought of her falling and not having help, and I also think she’d be happier with more company..." Read more →


The responsibility of providing care for an aging or ill loved one is a monumental challenge in its own right. But when a care recipient is domineering about how and when every single task is done, it’s bound to exasperate those who are in charge of their daily care. Read more →


Dear JY: You’re a good daughter, so don’t let your parents or anyone else make you feel guilty for needing to continue work both for income and fulfillment. No adult child should be required to move in with their parents to become a full-time caregiver unless this is their choice. Even if doing so is their first... Read more →


Dear SL: While you may be more self-sufficient than many older adults we read about, you are certainly not selfish and possibly not as unusual as conventional wisdom would imply. We can’t ignore the fact that loneliness and isolation are killers for older adults... Read more →


Dear HG: While few people have ideal childhoods, most are relatively nourishing or at least not abusive. Tragically, there are also many like you who were abused, and I weep for you in my heart. You’ve done a significant... Read more →


During the last few years of my caregiving, while my mother-in-law and my parents were still alive, my son was still having major health issues, and I was working full time, I read about the term “sandwich generation.” I remember thinking it was a clever concept... Read more →


I remember watching my parents age in the normal fashion. I’d occasionally look at them and be startled by the realization that they were getting older, but that was all I acknowledged. I never consciously dwelled on the fact that they would continue to decline and eventually... Read more →


Does this mean you are now “parenting your parents?” Is this what they mean by role reversal? Well, yes and no. These are phrases that are now in vogue. They make quick sound bites for interviews and great titles for books. (I nearly named my own book “Role Reversal,” but saw it was already being used too often and came to my senses.) Read more →


Dear Gloomy Suz: I’m sorry for what’s happened to your parents and for your own understandable struggle. Two parents who need care at the same time is difficult, and your mom’s poor prognosis must color each day that you have together. Nearly anyone in your situation... Read more →