Entries categorized "Minding Our Elders Column" Feed

...Get rid of perfectionism. I know that I can be more stressed than I need to be simply because I think I have to do everything right now and do it perfectly. Likely you are similar. Read more →


...My first step is to answer the writer’s email providing whatever comfort and resources I can. Then, depending on their question, I’ll consider the topic in view of the column to decide Read more →


...Oftentimes, an aging parent is still cognitively sharp but their days lack outside interaction and structure, therefore they come to rely on their primary caregiver for all of their socialization. Spending a few days each week at a senior center could Read more →


...Nancy had spent years in therapy learning to cope with her childhood issues. Through hard work, she learned to forgive her father for his lack of involvement and the fact that he didn’t put a stop to the abuse her mother doled out. She’d learned that Read more →


...t is so hard to see our parents get older. As they become more physically and/or cognitively challenged, it’s only natural to wish we could take away their struggles. We can offer love and support. We can do our best to anticipate and meet their needs. But, we can’t take away Read more →


While many people can use music as a healing tool or even to help a loved one through the death process, the profession of music thanatology requires a deep understanding of medical issues and music and how both these things affect the mind and body. Read more →


Dear SP: My heart goes out to you. Your private note to me was exceptionally detailed and I can assure you that you did everything you could to support your friend. Tragic situations like the one you describe Read more →


...Dear PF: Distance makes keeping track of your parents’ health harder, but barring dementia, they get to choose where they live. Remember that they likely understand that eventually, they’ll need assistance. Before discussing your worries Read more →


...What would you want your obituary to convey? That you were a great attorney? A terrific CNA? Of course you'd want your work accomplishments mentioned in your obituary, along with awards and praise. But I believe that you'd also want people to know that you were Read more →


Dear EK: This is common behavior for someone with advanced dementia, but it’s one of the many situations where caregivers can feel helpless. We don’t want to see a person whom we love distressed, and we view the idea that they are seeing their deceased parents as distressing. Sometimes, though, they find it comforting, so read on. Read more →