Entries categorized "Minding Our Elders Column" Feed

Dear Gloomy Suz: I’m sorry for what’s happened to your parents and for your own understandable struggle. Two parents who need care at the same time is difficult, and your mom’s poor prognosis must color each day that you have together. Nearly anyone in your situation... Read more →


Dear TG: A hard fact is that while denial like your dad’s denial presents a significant challenge, it’s not unusual and is likely a normal response to loss. It seems that you are doing what's possible medically. Your assignment will be... Read more →


Let’s face it, our care recipients are often very demanding. After all, they are most likely in frequent emotional distress and/or physical pain. Add to that the fact that they are losing the ability to make decisions about their own life, and you’ve got a crabby person... Read more →


Dear FM: Your whole family has my heartfelt sympathy. It's understandable that you are all struggling, and you're insightful to see that it's even worse for your dad. Your thoughts that he kept up a good front for your mom as she was dying, and again for the grandchildren over this year's holidays, are likely correct. However, that does make him vulnerable in the aftermath, and yes, suicide is far too common in this age group, which is very scary. Read more →


Dear JD: I’m sorry about your mom. She went through so much before she passed, though as she said, end-of-life is often like that. I’m also sad for you as you struggle with your very human feelings... Read more →


It’s Christmas Day: Are You Enjoying It?

...This quote is from literature, not a religious text. However, the Bible does say we should love our neighbor as ourselves. This kind of self-love isn’t meant to be egotistical. Rather, it’s a way of knowing that we, too, have value, and when we respect that value we can be better at loving our neighbor. Read more →


Dear LM: My deepest sympathy to you. No, you aren’t alone with the “empty chair” feeling, but that doesn’t make your own circumstances less painful. I don’t have an easy fix, but I will share my thoughts and personal experience... Read more →


Dear ML: Your mom is basically healthy, and you get along well, so I’m happy for you. Both of these are significant blessings. I hope that her health holds out for a long time. Read more →


Dear HS: I’m sorry about your losing your parents so close together. That's hard in itself, so this shift in your communications with your siblings feels like an additional loss which is entirely understandable.. Read more →


For several years, I was responsible for decorating two senior living apartments, two nursing home rooms and my own home. On top of that, I had gifting and holiday meals in several locations to consider. I did try to simplify life as much as possible during this hectic time, but I... Read more →