Entries categorized "Minding Our Elders Column" Feed

The “Empowered Caregiver” is specifically designed to provide you with strategies and solutions for caring for your older parents in ways that can significantly reduce your own stress. Fodrini-Johnson begins with the all-important basics such as safety concerns and navigating legal issues. From there, she moves forward to assist you... Read more →


Dear RT: You were exceptionally generous to buy this home to help your son and his family, so don’t fault yourself. If it helps to know this, many other well-meaning families have tried to cohabitate, and the result is often similar. That's not to say that intergenerational living doesn't work... Read more →


“Being 36 years old and having these issues hasn’t been easy, so I’m still trying to adapt to this new way of living, but I’m still self-conscious. I’m always worried when I’m out in public if people will notice I have a diaper on. Then there’s everything that comes..." Read more →


My next thought was of Mom, in the bed next to Dad’s in the nursing home who simply couldn’t bear to watch. She had been unable to fully participate in Dad’s last hours due to her heavy pain medication, and she needed me with her. A curtain blocked Dad’s body from where I sat with Mom. I tried... Read more →


Dear SL: Don’t blame yourself. There are so many things about dementia care that are unlike other experiences that it takes time to learn what works and what doesn’t. Also, since every day is different, the approach you take one day may not work the next. Give yourself credit for trying. Having said that, I can give you a few tips that may help: Read more →


Dear JK: Most people who have crossed into later middle age and beyond have similar thoughts, but those who have watched a parent go through younger-onset Alzheimer’s are often the most concerned, and with good reason. You sound like a person who has kept up with research... Read more →


Dear SK: Caregiving, especially dementia caregiving, can be nearly all-consuming, so feelings of being at loose ends when those responsibilities end are not unusual. For someone who lived in a marriage that didn’t allow for a separate identity, those feelings can be compounded. Sometimes even in happy marriages... Read more →


Dear RT: It’s stunning to me how many siblings or other family members who are not direct, hands-on caregivers for aging parents insist that the parent must continue to have only family care at home. Some of them have this attitude because they genuinely love... Read more →


Dear LW: It’s sad that your mom had to make this choice, but she knows her own mind, and yes, her decision should be honored. In the first place, her choice is a valid approach to end-of-life care. Additionally, this decision is between your mom, her doctors, her clergy... Read more →


Dear BT: People slowing down their social activity at a time when health issues become more challenging is common and not necessarily bad. While it’s true that one or both of your parents could be clinically depressed, it’s also possible that... Read more →