Entries categorized "Minding Our Elders Column" Feed

...Regardless of how you feel about your mother-in-law and father-in-law, taking on the care of another person (or even two people) is a serious challenge. Furthermore, when your care recipient is a person who is merely a relative by marriage, how much say do you truly have in Read more →


...Here’s another puzzler. My mother-in-law, Alice, was in a care facility, where she’d flourished despite her dementia progressing in the sad way that it does. But then, Alice took a turn for the worse when came down with pneumonia. She was given antibiotics, Read more →


...The truth is that all caregivers struggle with these concerns and many allow them to get in the way of taking the respite breaks they so badly need and deserve. Thanks to the caregiver “fix-it” mentality, it’s unrealistic to think Read more →


Yet, I was still fearful for the first few weeks after the move that Dad would not receive the kind of attention he’d grown accustomed to. I was afraid he would decline further without my one-on-one care. Read more →


...Goodwin says that keeping a journal was “like having a best friend that didn’t talk back—I didn’t get interrupted mid-sentence.” Read more →


We can certainly decide not to be bothered by this criticism. The problem is, we’re often unaware that we judge ourselves even more harshly and against much higher standards. This is particularly true in retrospect. The passage of time lends valuable perspective Read more →


...The questions above address important issues at the very heart of caregiving. Unfortunately, many of these concerns do not arise until family caregivers are feeling overwhelmed and depleted or until some area of their lives begins to deteriorate Read more →


...Loving family members, and others who care for and about people with dementia, would like an answer to their question about how much a person understands. Personally, my non-medical viewpoint is that it varies. As a caregiver, my experiences with many types of dementia suggest to me that people likely do Read more →


Dear GH: Unfortunately, this is a common problem that families see, but it certainly doesn’t make it easier for us to witness. I’m sorry that you went through it. The same thing happened after surgery left my dad with... Read more →


...The hospice staff kindly but firmly rejected my plan. Their chaplain handled informing Mom of the change to Dad’s care plan, and she was included in the services they offered. Of course, they were right to do this. It was painful for everyone involved, Read more →