Entries categorized "Reflections" Feed

“No one needs to die in pain.” That is what the social worker told me as I signed the papers that would put my father on hospice care. That is the mantra of hospice providers. As a family caregiver entering the new and scary realm of end-of-life-care, it became my mantra, too. I had no choice but to believe Read more →


Judy’s situation is an example of what many of us face. She’s likely right that her mom would be safer if she had someone checking on her regularly. Also, depending on her mom’s personality, Judy’s mom might be happier with the easy availability of companionship that assisted living offers. Why the resistance? Read more →


Dear SG: My heart goes out to you. I’ve been in your shoes with family members, particularly my parents, though, I was fortunate in that my sister was also there so we could support each other. I also know from different personal experiences the heavy load of being alone... Read more →


Dear Erased: I’m deeply sorry! Having your parent forget your name is said by many caregivers to be one of the most painful parts of being a care partner to their parent who is living with dementia. Yet, it’s one of the cruel, nearly predictable realities of some types of dementia, particularly Alzheimer’s. Even though early on-set Alzheimer’s disease... Read more →


Dear Gloomy Suz: I’m sorry for what’s happened to your parents and for your own understandable struggle. Two parents who need care at the same time is difficult, and your mom’s poor prognosis must color each day that you have together. Nearly anyone in your situation... Read more →


When we do this, we don’t argue if they say that they haven’t eaten all day even though lunch was an hour ago. We just say, “Really? Then we’d better get you a snack.”... Read more →


Dear KO: I can understand your alarm and would be as angry as you are if I felt this was simply a money-saving step, or worse, active ageism. However, this has been the prevailing policy for many thoughtful clinicians over the last few years and is, in fact, one that I like. Read more →


Our communication began with his request to return for credit unused incontinence products after his mother died. After Wilson received a refund for those Egosan products he went on to talk about the quality of the products:“My mom Lena Wilson just passed, and I was her caregiver at home... Read more →


Dear TG: A hard fact is that while denial like your dad’s denial presents a significant challenge, it’s not unusual and is likely a normal response to loss. It seems that you are doing what's possible medically. Your assignment will be... Read more →


Dear Scared: This must be not only distressing for you but as your signature tells us, scary. I’m so sorry that you’re going through such a hard time. Your Dad's behavior change could stem from any number of things... Read more →