Entries categorized "Reflections" Feed

Dear Resentful Randi: I’m sorry that your siblings are being not only dense, but self-absorbed and selfish. It’s either that or they are in serious denial. Apparently, convincing themselves that your parents don’t really need much help and you are overreacting by being so attentive keeps away any guilt that they’d otherwise feel. Read more →


Most caregivers tend to leap into caregiving because the need is there. They don’t stop and think: “Oh, I must plan my journey for the next year — or 10.” Dad has a heart attack. You’re there. Mother-in-law breaks her hip. You’re there. Your husband develops cancer. Read more →


My condolences about the tough patch you and your husband are going through. From reading your last sentence, I’ve gathered that you know that parental caregiving can present considerable challenges to many marriages. Still, that offers little comfort to you. Read more →


Dear MM: This is worrisome for you, I know. Most of us see our parents getting older and leap into the thought process that they should stop doing some of the riskier things. While it may be smart of them to listen to us, we worriers do need to accept that truly living generally involves some risk for our parents. Read more →


Dear BV: I’m sorry that your mom’s health is declining. Like most adult children, you are having a hard time accepting that no matter what’s done from the medical standpoint, your mom’s life will most likely soon end. Read more →


Dear LR: You sound like a caring daughter who is concerned about all aspects of her mom’s care, which is wonderful. Granted, the quality of her care, in general, is going to be your major concern, but what people call us often mirrors how they treat us. Read more →


Dear VB: My heartfelt condolences to your whole family. It has to be difficult for you to concentrate on your mother’s grief while you deal with your own, yet you are sensitive to what she’s going through, which says a lot about you. Read more →


I’ll have to get Mom from the car into the clinic for another appointment soon and I’m already starting to sweat how to do it safely, especially if we have a cycle of melting and refreezing. – VH Read more →


“As he aged, he fell often and was confused. It was awful,” Johnson remembers. It turns out her father’s symptoms weren’t a sign of age-related decline, as she’d suspected. Instead, he was over-medicated, and it was taking a toll. “Finally, he was seen by a new doctor Read more →


Dear PR: I'm sorry that you've got to deal with this because it’s a big emotional challenge. As you indicated, most likely your mom mentally slid back in time and was looking for a watch from long ago.... Read more →