Entries categorized "Reflections" Feed

Dear WS: I appreciate your compassion and your willingness to help your grandma. While it can be frustrating when people have hearing aids yet won't wear them, your instincts are right in that the problem behind your grandma's refusal is what needs to be addressed. Read more →


During the last few years of my caregiving, while my mother-in-law and my parents were still alive, my son was still having major health issues, and I was working full time, I read about the term “sandwich generation.” Read more →


Dear Sad but Tense: I’m so sorry about what’s happened, not only to your dad but to your whole family. Generally, when I hear about ruined retirement plans, the letter comes from a spouse, so you provide an observant perspective that we can all learn from. Read more →


Perhaps the most challenging of all is that many caregivers are now trying to care for a parent or spouse in their homes with limited supplies – sometimes limited food choices – and almost no outside contact. These caregivers alternate between fear for their loved ones’ lives and worry about how their parent or spouse will survive if they, the caregiver, becomes sick. Read more →


Dear Readers: We had some nightmarish situations before the Covid-19 pandemic, but this has created scenarios in our caregiving life we’d never considered. Physical distance from those we want to help. Isolation when they – and we – need each other more than ever. Fear of death as we’ve never known it. However, if we are to survive, we must continue to have hope. Read more →


A parent home alone: This may be even more frightening, especially if your parent is particularly vulnerable during the best of times. However, if loneliness is their main risk here are some suggestions: Read more →


...My family was fortunate in that we knew the facility staff and could trust that they would do the right thing. I can only imagine your terror if your parents are newly placed in a facility where they haven’t yet been able to settle in, or perhaps worse if they are in a facility Read more →


But did someone actually steal Victoria's sweater, or is dementia stealing her mind? Victoria, the lady ranting about her sweater, was sitting in her wheelchair. I had offered to take her down to the nursing home's main dining room on my way to sit with my mother-in-law. I was familiar with Victoria, a resident at my mother-in-law's facility. Read more →


We knew Dad was wearing down. He didn’t have long to live, but did he have to be in such discomfort? I wanted him under hospice care, but the doctor was adamant that he still wasn’t ready. Read more →


Care decisions are hard enough as it is, but how do you know when you’re enabling an elderly loved one to slide by the easy way as opposed to helping them out with something they truly need? The truth is, it’s rarely an easy call, and the answer may differ on any given day. Read more →