Entries categorized "Reflections" Feed

...Some were chance moments that I could have missed if not for the exquisite timing that life occasionally offers us. Some came less spontaneously. And a few came during otherwise painful moments. Read more →


...One of the most exhausting parts of being a caregiver, from my point of view, is that there's always the threat of an emergency that we are responsible to handle. We are literally on call 24 hours a day, seven days a week, even if our elders don't live in our own household. Of course, anyone can have a life-changing emergency. A spouse can be in a car accident. A Read more →


...What is a caregiver to do when they find themselves struggling with their living situation? A lot depends on the background and details surrounding one’s unique arrangement. Most family caregivers embrace living with their parents because they want the best for them. They take on the responsibility out of love and/or necessity. Some caregivers move in Read more →


...However, when we are caregivers to vulnerable people who are completely dependent upon us, and who likely have health problems to begin with, we are much more apt to face an emergency that can change current plans for anything from a few hours to the rest of our elders' lives. Read more →


...Regardless of how you feel about your mother-in-law and father-in-law, taking on the care of another person (or even two people) is a serious challenge. Furthermore, when your care recipient is a person who is merely a relative by marriage, how much say do you truly have in Read more →


...Here’s another puzzler. My mother-in-law, Alice, was in a care facility, where she’d flourished despite her dementia progressing in the sad way that it does. But then, Alice took a turn for the worse when came down with pneumonia. She was given antibiotics, Read more →


...They cornered every staff member they could find and talked to them either as if they were a good neighbor who had all the time in the world or an adversary who needed constant monitoring. Read more →


...Older adults, too, want to continue making and following their own rules and routines. The idea of living together, no matter how well you get along, can be disconcerting for both parties. The intimacy of a shared living space can simply be too much of a good thing. Read more →


...Often this sudden burst of anger is entirely misdirected. Our spouse, child, friend or care recipient may wind up becoming a target when our hurt really stems from the overwhelming stress of our caregiving situation, how unappreciated we feel and/or how little support we Read more →


Dear GK: You’re both right in your own way, which is often the case in caregiving. Long-time readers will notice that this is a frequently asked question and that’s because there’s no concrete answer. Your dad sounds as if he’s doing well for now Read more →