Dear PN: You are smart to consider these questions now since there’s time to create a plan with your parents’ input. Most people are limited caregivers long before they even consider this question and this is true in your case. From your note, I gather that you’ve at least been “on-call” for quite some time, and you and your husband have been available for some chores at the very least. However, you also show respect for your parents’ independence and I applaud you for that. Read more →

Dear Mom’s Keeper: You sound like a caring daughter with understandable concerns. If it’s any comfort, parents resisting help is a common problem faced by adult children. For some, the concern is about cognitive problems, which thankfully isn’t an issue here, but each requires a somewhat different approach. You, along with most adult children, want to see your mother stay safe. Read more →

Dear Sad but Tense: I’m so sorry about what’s happened, not only to your dad but to your whole family. Generally, when I hear about ruined retirement plans, the letter comes from a spouse, so you provide an observant perspective that we can all learn from. Read more →

...He was struggling to breathe, yet pleaded with me to not insert the breathing tube and to let him die. The cardiologist was scared to do it. With a voice coming from above saying, “Let My People Go!” I honored the man’s wishes. I tremble every time I read this passage. Read more →

Despite trying their best, hospital staff is often overworked and short on numbers. If a family member has ever stayed in a nursing home, you’ve probably seen staffing stretched to the limit. A hospital stay will be just as tough, if not more so. Read more →

Dear Furious: Excuse me while I pry apart my clenched teeth and take a few deep breaths. There, that’s a little better. I think that in this case you might have done the right thing by simply protecting your dad’s dignity and leaving because this woman needs more than education: she needs a soul transplant. Read more →

If you and your parents have frequent, casual conversations about options as they age, you’ll have an easier time with the transition than if you leave the topic until there’s a crisis. When you begin the talks, Read more →

The Alzheimer’s Association uses the following criteria to illustrate issues in mild or early-stage Alzheimer’s disease: Read more →

...This list is only a start, but avoiding or rewording these questions and statements may improve your caregiving partnership. Read more →

If you and your parents have frequent, casual conversations about options as they age, you’ll have an easier time with the transition than if you leave the topic until there’s a crisis. Read more →